Ok so this morning I bought a 12-pack of Wild Cherry Pepsi's...What! I got them once on accident and they were fantastic. Anyway the point is, I know people love the little contraptions, but I have decided that someone needs to write a "Real American Heroes" song about the person that invented these things.
First of all, the makeshift "handle" on the top might last long enough to get the package from the store to your car, but if you have to... I don't know, walk from the store to your office, two parking lots away... it just doesn't have the necessary structural integrity. So what happens is, either A) it ends up breaking and spilling delicious wild cherry all over the pavement, or B) you have to do that little, tuck the awkward sized box under your arm... move, and the corners dig into your elbow and you hope that the glue at the back end doesn't give way because then you just end up with option A) all over again but from a higher elevation. It's very dramatic, this little dance.
That, however, isn't nearly as annoying as the little perforated access panel on the front. I mean it's clearly perforated (I even said so in the last sentence) yet no matter how slowly and carefully I go, or how hard I focus on that line... the tear will just zigzag back and forth across the line, like it's avoiding the line at all costs! So, somehow the end result is a box that looks like it's been violently attacked by a lawnmower. Well you know what? I say that's what you get box! I mean why are you so afraid of the line? Are you too good for your LINE, BOX??
6 comments:
HAHAh oh my gosh..radio. This totally just made my day. Thats hilarious..Is is that funny things always happen to you..or that you are just the only one to see the funniness in these things?..im not sure. But, either way I think they only way the story would have been better is if they were slim fast cans...and you dropped them and they spewed everywhere :) WHAT Im just trying to save you from them..they cause cancer..probably.
Is is that you are so afraid of they word "how" or what?! :)
So I'm going to have to say that I like the roach story better. But I will admit two things:
1) Wild Cherry Pepsi is in fact a delightful drink.
2) No matter how many times I try to punch the perforated tab in to open the box, it never works. I usually end up smashing my fingers and then tearing the box.
Also, (if I were admitting more than two things today, this would be numbered "3)" ) said boxes called the "refrigerator friendly box" rarely fit nicely in my refrigerator. I can't shut the door when I put those things in there! How UN-friendly.
I totally just posted as "anonymous". I am anything BUT anonymous.
Eric's comment doesn't even make sense..thats all Im saying.
ps..im glad you added the different optional outcomes and yet did not tell us which one you chose, that way..we can just imagine which ever one we think would have looked the funniest!
First of all hilarious! But, I must ask had this particular box been soaked in water?
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