If you are a small child, beware.

Ok so sometimes in life... you just have to let loose, play in a water fountain, and of course... bulldoze a small child.

This video took place at that giant aquarium place in downtown Houston. We basically decided that we were going to run over one straight row of fountain spouts (the spouting pattern is so random and unpredictable!) where two small mexican children were playing. So the rule was: Nobody could leave the path of spouts for fear of getting wet, which is why that crazy midget should have known better than to swing his little head around in the path of my thigh! Yes it was. It was my thigh.

Disclaimer: No Jacob's or a.d.d. children were harmed in the making of this video. *Also I am not a racist, and I love children! I do! and... I'm not!

P.S. pay no attention to the way I run in this video, I have never done that before and never will again... I don't know where it came from

Nice try, lightning!

Ok so today I almost got struck by lightning... in a fairly round-about manner.

I was up on a ladder running all the audio/video wires in our training room while teaching a class. (Hey I have been meaning to do that for a while now and I decided to kill two birds with one stone! Plus I hate birds, and I love stones.)

So anyway, at the very moment that I plugged the power cable into the ceiling mounted outlet, there was a huge bang, a bright flash next to my face and lots of screaming and gasping, because lightning had just struck the building. So luckily, I had just pulled my hand away within a second of the lightning's attempt on my life! Then Jennifer told me that she felt a shock through her laptop's keyboard, and the lights in my bosses office had shattered from the surge, and the receptionist's monitor is now only showing red and not green and blue.

None of that matters however, because I avoided certain death by mere... half seconds! Maybe two at the most. MAYBE. Better luck next time, nature.

12 Pack? More like Go to Engineering School.... Pack

Ok so this morning I bought a 12-pack of Wild Cherry Pepsi's...What! I got them once on accident and they were fantastic. Anyway the point is, I know people love the little contraptions, but I have decided that someone needs to write a "Real American Heroes" song about the person that invented these things.

First of all, the makeshift "handle" on the top might last long enough to get the package from the store to your car, but if you have to... I don't know, walk from the store to your office, two parking lots away... it just doesn't have the necessary structural integrity. So what happens is, either A) it ends up breaking and spilling delicious wild cherry all over the pavement, or B) you have to do that little, tuck the awkward sized box under your arm... move, and the corners dig into your elbow and you hope that the glue at the back end doesn't give way because then you just end up with option A) all over again but from a higher elevation. It's very dramatic, this little dance.

That, however, isn't nearly as annoying as the little perforated access panel on the front. I mean it's clearly perforated (I even said so in the last sentence) yet no matter how slowly and carefully I go, or how hard I focus on that line... the tear will just zigzag back and forth across the line, like it's avoiding the line at all costs! So, somehow the end result is a box that looks like it's been violently attacked by a lawnmower. Well you know what? I say that's what you get box! I mean why are you so afraid of the line? Are you too good for your LINE, BOX??