Roaches are the Devil

Ok, so I decided to share my roach story from earlier this week, because I wanted everyone to appreciate how funny the situation was to me. In any case, just know beforehand that I hate roaches and spiders... hate. So much hate.

So on Tuesday we have our weekly company meetings, and while I was setting up all my equipment, I noticed one of the biggest roaches I've ever seen slowly making its way toward me from like 10 feet away. So I make my way around the table, and the little sucker (and by little I mean huge) changes directions and again, is coming right at me. So I walk over to a shelf and grab a book, and turn around and it has now turned and is scurrying back into the corner it came from, that I can't get to. So I think, oh well, lucky for YOU demon bug.... and go about my business.

So about 30 minutes later in the middle of the meeting, I'm sitting halfway across the room from the scene of the previous incident. I happen to look up and see that one of the agents named Bob Fitch is holding up a piece of paper, and has written a message on the back of it, big enough for me to see halfway across the room, which reads: "A HUGE ROACH JUST CRAWLED UP YOUR LEG"

Oh mother of god...

Well halfway through reading his message happens to be the exact moment that I feel the roach for the first time on my leg, under my pants (That's right UNDER, not on TOP of)

so basically I FREAK OUT! I start stomping my leg to make the roach fall out, and I hit my knee on the table and knock my coffee over, and generally do an impressive bit if flailing... Finally the roach falls out by my shoe and scurries back off behind me and stops by the wall. Somehow the only two people out of the 60-plus in attendance that notice my little jig are Janine (my boss sitting next to me) and old man Bob (who originally clued me in on my predicament, helpful as that was)

So when I finally stop laughing with my head down, and tell Janine that a roach had crawled up the inside of my pant leg and she kinda chuckles, until I point the thing out, and she's like WHOA. Anyway she runs around the table and stomps on it, which is the first time anyone else notices anything. So Dave, my other boss running the meeting, goes on to tell everyone some made up joke about me seeing the roach before they got there and running out of the room. He's clearly a liar.

Anyway... I don't know what kind of crazy robot homing beacon roaches they are breeding these days, (who apparently have some kind of stealth-like capabilities since the giant devil insect made it across a room full of people unnoticed by everyone but old man bob)... but I am going to have more than a little trouble sleeping at night.